Ah, the “green-eyed monster” …
We’ve all experienced it…that twinge of jealousy, those pangs of envy…this is especially prevalent in the age of social media.
Jealousy is an emotion, and what’s an emotion but an instinctive response to a set of circumstances or events. Emotions are information. Until you bring awareness and curiosity to what’s really underneath them, you’ll typically stay stuck at the surface level of that emotion which creates a disempowering state (for more on this, message me for a link to my most recent course on Empowering Emotions).
We see someone with a lifestyle, a partner, a career, a vacation, a house…something we WANT but don’t currently have.
And then the storytelling begins. Oh, and we are SUCH good storytellers, aren’t we?
“I’ll never have that…”
“I bet they’re secretly miserable…”
Or we turn to this perennial favorite: “Ugh, they’re so LUCKY”
…just another disempowering story we’re telling ourselves.
Jealousy is giving you important information, if you’ll tune into it. And so, for that matter, are the stories we default to telling about why we can’t have it.
So who do you envy? What do you perceive they have in their life that you don’t?
Don’t focus on the “thing” itself…focus on the feeling you imagine they have because of it.
Ah. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Once you get to the feelings underneath it, you can use that information to bring your life more into alignment with those values - both in the immediate “here and now”, and the long term vision of your life.
Let’s take freedom as an example.
What are small steps you can take now to feel more freedom? Perhaps it’s asking your boss for a more flexible work schedule, or giving yourself permission to turn off your phone for a few hours (I promise, the world won’t end). And in the long term, what would “freedom” look like for you? Is it financial independence? The ability to work from anywhere? Once you know what’s really important to you, you can start to create long-term plans to bring more of it into your life.
Try this exercise next time you feel that green-eyed furball pop up…and now instead of seeing him as an adversary, you can see him as a friendly guide to more of what you want to call into your life.